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Title: 真的不想; ♥
written on Friday, August 6, 2010 @ 11:54 PM ✈{ 0 comments }


我可以用感动来解释眼泪,
可是我可以用欺骗来安慰伤痛吗?
我想要继续的哭泣不得不终止,
想要挣扎的勇气不得不呼吸,
想要释放的感伤不得不收敛,
只因为有人在看,
真的不想,
眼泪代表的脆弱来诠释撕心裂肺的伤,
真的不想,
一味顺从疼痛的撕咬,
真的不想,
总是放任悲伤,狂跳,
而我抓不住,也跳不出;
眼泪,要多久才会流下?
我知道,这问题问得似乎很傻。
那么轻盈的一滴,流过脸庞,
常常只在瞬间。
如果是那些琼瑶苦情戏里的演员,
几秒钟就可以泪流满面。
又何必问,
一滴泪,落下的时间?

可我常常觉得,
流下一滴眼泪,
需要很久很久。

人越长大,
就越习惯于压抑内心的真实感受,
不再放声大哭放声大笑,
什么都只是淡淡的点到为止。

好像越来越没有什么事情,
可以让我伤心到立刻落泪,
像是传说中丢失了泪腺的骆驼,
再也找不出,释放伤感的出口。
于是一滴泪,在渗出眼眶之前,
早已在心中酝酿了许久,
甚至可能在落下之前,已经悄悄蒸发。

有的时候感到难过,
就一直对自己说,
先不要哭先忍着,
现在要去上学要去和爸妈吃饭,
等过一会儿,
回了家再关上门哭。

于是很辛苦的仰起头深呼吸,
仿佛把那滴眼泪又狠狠压回心里,
神色如常的,奔波,忙碌,寒暄,微笑。

可是好不容易回到家,
已累得筋疲力尽,
除了困也顾不上其它,
还是洗洗睡吧还是不要再这么多愁善感,
明天眼睛哭肿了会有多么难看,
就让神经粗糙一点坚硬一点吧,
我不哭。

我不知道这是隐忍了多久的泪水,
但它终于在这样一个湿润的早上,
急速的落下,嚣张的释放。
我想还可以有时间有机会自由的哭,
总是好的;
还可以狠狠的流出眼泪,
就说明心还没有干涸;
还可以感觉到痛,
那是因为灵魂,还没有苍老麻木。

一滴眼泪,要用多长时间,才可以自由释放?……



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